Work & Motherhood

I'm a very open person. I don't deal will with secrets so I tend not to have any, far too stressful. So when it comes to TTC for a 4th time while still with the same employer what do I do? I tell them!

Well, my female manager anyway. My male boss already knows that hubby & I planned to have 4 kids, I told him that when he took me on, and I've had 3 of them in the 6 years I've worked for him. I feel he knows the score. I still have a job too! But that's all the detail I tell him. He is a man, and my boss after all. With no kids of his own I doubt he has much interest beyond "what will it cost me to have you go on mat leave AGAIN?" Since I only get stat mat and other people cover my work when I'm not there (or it simply piles up till I get back) the answer it pretty much nothing! My manager, on the other hand, is affected by my choice to try again later this year. She is the one who will have to cover or delegate my work while I'm away, she's the one who needs to know that I WILL come back. And since my last baby came as a bit of a shock I think she should know well in advance!

Tomorrow, after work, I go to get my contraceptive implant taken out. I'm excited because it means we're a step closer to TTC, and a bit scared because it hurt like hell after it was put in and I bruised like soft fruit! I've managed to take my Pill every day for the last week (something I've never been any good at in the past, hence the implant. Funny, I never forget to test my BBT, so I keep my pill long side my thermometer and iPad ready to take the moment I've recorded the days temp on my chart ) I've told my manager and she looked worried, but I've assured her that we're still 4-5 month away from TTC. Plenty of time to get those current projects under control!

I can't help but be thankful that I work for a company which, although small and far from perfect, is not discriminating against me for my decision to have a large family. I haven't been let go for some made-up reason covering up for wanting me out because I'm a baby factory. I've always had a job to come back to, they have gone out of their way to find a role suitable for my lifestyle. My hours are flexible, I even got to bring my youngest in with me for half a week when I had problems with childcare. In return I do work my backside off, and keep them informed so plans can be made. I even try to book my antenatal classes for out of work even though I'm entitled to them in work time.

The Boss did once say he thought it was "a shame" that I wanted a big family because he'd wanted to develop me further in the company but I had chosen to work part time instead. This wasn't discrimination. The job he wanted me to do was a 24/7 role with high stress. One I had been doing when I fell pregnant first time round. I tried that part time between my 1st & 2nd kids and it just wasn't suitable for me. I couldn't do that and be the mum I wanted to be. I was hardly home even though it was classed as part time, and when I was I was still working and stressed.  Even taking business calls in the bath at gone 10pm on a Sunday night. So I chose a lesser role and I have found it to be the best career move I could have made. I have job satisfaction, quality time with my family, and even though I earn less I'm not having to spend half my wages on childcare.

So I wont be hiding away the huge bruise on my arm next week, unless it's really ugly, and I wont need to hide the fact that I go on pregnancy forums in my lunch break. It's all fine. I already have a spot marked out on my desk for there that 12wk scan photo will get displayed!